The first three years of trying to conceive were the hardest and most stressful.
I hated going to gatherings or family reunions. It was just so stressful hearing people ask, "Why aren't you pregnant yet?" or "Don't you want to have children yet?" Believe me, I so wanted to have a child right after hubby and I got married. People would even joke, "Do you know how to do it?" or sometimes people could be so insensitive by giving unnecessary comments. This happened every time. I tried hard to control my feelings and maintain my composure, but deep inside I was hurting, angry, and crying. Normally, I would just smile and try to change the topic for conversation, but sometimes they wouldn't just stop. Now I just smile and turn away from them to discourage further discussion. When there are times that people would tell me about the number of children or grandchildren they already have and ask why I couldn't catch up, I just smile and say, "Good for you" and turn away from them. I don't mean to be rude, but I hope they know when to stop.
We're just glad that our parents (hubby's and mine) have been always supportive. I know they feel the stress too when they're asked by their colleagues or friends about having grandchildren with us, but we are just thankful that our parents understand our situation.
I got so jealous every time I heard someone I knew got pregnant. In my previous workplace, one or two colleagues would get pregnant every year. I always asked, "When's it my turn?" Even the single ladies got pregnant. Some were even a surprise -- they had complications with their reproductive system, but then they conceived!
Oh well. Everything happens for a reason and in God's time, He will give us our baby. Hubby and I just need to keep the faith and wait.
Today is my third day on Clomid. Also, I am scheduled for my HSG tomorrow. I hope everything goes well.
Very well said. I went through a similar phase and I share your sentiments. It's exasperating when people say stuff just because they think they should. They think they're helping by giving unsolicited advice, but most of the time it's the exact opposite. They become completely obtrusive and as a result we act defensively. There are boundaries people shouldn't cross. However, it's not easy to mind our own business. I'm not sure if it's because of our culture but I know I've had my fair share of poking into people's personal lives. At present I have to make an effort to remind myself of the negative emotions one feels when he/she becomes the recepient of intrusive comments and/or advices. I'm glad that you were able to rise above all these negativity you went through.
ReplyDelete